I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
