In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
