dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
