I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
