i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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