so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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