Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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