I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
