I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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