they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
