Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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