turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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