So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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