im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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