from now on my penis is your penis
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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