It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
