so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My underwear smells like fireworks.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
found the other keg... it's in the tree
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
