he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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