So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
