I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
