I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
