you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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