the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
