Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
