I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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