Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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