So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
