That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
