I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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