There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
