i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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