No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
