He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
