He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
