I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
