haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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