its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
