I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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