I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
