So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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