this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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