I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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