I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
