As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
