Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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