Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
