508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
