I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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