hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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