Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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