I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
