I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
