the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
There r osticjed everywhere
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
