i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
